Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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