i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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