When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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