I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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