Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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