Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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