So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
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