A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
