it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
