Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
