If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
