wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize