why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Please don't give away my fajitas
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
