you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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