We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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