I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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