its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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