There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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