I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
