grandma shit on top of the toilet
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize