I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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