Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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