I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
