Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize