Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
