Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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