there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
