it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
