I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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