Cold hands, warm shart.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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