How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
