What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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