well I can't set my house on fire every night
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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