period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
