Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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