U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
