guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
