I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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