Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
