We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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