Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
