Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
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Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
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I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize