Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
