Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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