on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
