she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
This is my gift to your gina
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
