Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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