I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
