3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
