Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
