I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
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He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
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We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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