can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
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I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
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She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize