Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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