i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
