Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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