when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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