i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Farmville is her only friend.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
