I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
