I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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