i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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