i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
