hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
