I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
